An interesting article from my favorite blog
I stumble upon this very interesting article from babble.com
10 Stupid Perceptions About Work at Home Moms BY CIARAN
When I first started to work at home, I was the mom of two kids. I was working for a little “extra” cash. Disneyland pass money. Purses and new shoes. My primary business was marketing the clothing line I’d launched. I was shipping to some 250 or so stores worldwide, not making a huge profit. But it was cool. I started blogging to boost my marketing efforts. Anything not to have to go back to work in an office for a marketing firm. Or as some obnoxious people liked to say, “get a REAL job.”
Two more kids later, some tough economic realities intervened. My husband was spottily employed and we were paying for private school. I took on more. My efforts were no longer paying for Disney passes and designer purses. I was paying for food, and gas and tuition.
Fortunately for my family, I’m pretty good at what I do and I had an established freelance career in marketing and advertising to return to. I was able to take on contract marketing and writing assignments, and earn a respectable salary, without giving up flexibility. But like Rumplestiltskin says on Once Upon a Time , “All magic comes at a cost…”
Some of my (mostly ex) friends still don’t grasp the fact that I work full time from home. They think I’m selfish and aloof. That’s why I’m unavailable a lot of the time. Yes it stings, yes it’s tough, but I literally don’t have time to meet, have coffee and explain it to them. Some weeks, all I have time for is a brief Facebook chat.
There are a lot of challenges and biases unique to work at home parents, but the following inaccurate assumptions seem to affect moms in particular. I’m not saying men don’t deal with the same, but society is what it is. Our culture comes with a set of infuriatingly outdated ideas and expectations that get applied liberally by the most surprising people.
It’s been over ten years since I started working from home, yet I still face the following mis-perceptions, on a near daily basis.
Since You're at Home... The properties of time are altered
It makes sense that you should do the laundry, grocery shopping, meal planning and prep, kids party planning, school volunteering, room momming, team momming, room painting, costume sewing... Oh wait. You work? Well you know, in your free time. Because you are at home. Squeeze it in.
You can't dress yourself appropriately, ever
True story: I used to have a sitter who judged me for working at home. I was sure she was sure I was just looking at cat photos on the internet while wearing my PJs, while she cleaned my house and watched my baby. So I got all dressed up in heels and a suit and went to Starbucks to get some work done without her judgey glare. There I ran into a bunch of other moms I knew, out for coffee. They all had on workout gear. They wanted me to join them. I said I had to work. "Oh," they said "Aren't you FANCY!" which really meant that they thought I was being an anti-social bitch who didn't have time for her stay at home mom friends. Lose, lose. From then on I drove to the Starbucks two towns away.
You can aways do a little more work
Since you can't leave your office, you can't ever leave your work. If you work for others and don't keep regular hours, it is likely that you are expected to be always on or at least always reachable. Even when the power is out and your phone is dead and the kids (or you) have the flu. Always on.
Working at Home is a Career Killer or a Stepping Stone
Once certain people begrudgingly admit that what you are doing kind of qualifies as a real job, probably because you are earning "real" money, they will assume one of two scenarios: 1. You're trying to stay in the market in case you ever want to go back out and get a real job. But you probably won't because sadly you peaked back when you had a real job. 2. You've managed to create a stepping stone for yourself, you scrappy lil' lass. Hurray! Now you can get a REAL job.
Desperate Housewives WAHM edition
I get furious at how many people equate work at home motherhood with a brand of desperation, be it desperation for cash, for acknowledgement or attention. Working at Home is simply the best solution to putting food at the table and still spending time with kids, for many people. It's not a ploy for attention, a route to a real job or a cause for charity. It's insulting to downgrade someone's abilities because they get the job done at home. What matters is how they get the job done. Work at home moms are not desperate, they are frustrated that it's harder than they imagined it would be. They are also probably exhausted a lot of the time. If anything, they are desperate for a nap.
Oh look! There really is a Balance Fairy!
The only thing worse than all of the above assumptions/perceptions is the bill of goods that is sold, sometimes by working moms themselves, that balance is simply a matter of skill and planning. The myth of having it all at the same time really is a disservice to all working moms. I hear from people who follow me about how awesome it is that I seem to juggle it all and have it all and I offer the very real evidence to the contrary - the birthday party present I forgot to get, the teacher conference I missed, the friend's important event I cannot attend because I am working out of town that weekend and the fact that my older son has no shoes that fit. I'm tired all the time but I don't regret a thing. I've made the choices that are best for my family and me, and whatever you've chosen for you, I'll have to assume you chose with the same good intentions in your heart.
10 Stupid Perceptions About Work at Home Moms BY CIARAN
When I first started to work at home, I was the mom of two kids. I was working for a little “extra” cash. Disneyland pass money. Purses and new shoes. My primary business was marketing the clothing line I’d launched. I was shipping to some 250 or so stores worldwide, not making a huge profit. But it was cool. I started blogging to boost my marketing efforts. Anything not to have to go back to work in an office for a marketing firm. Or as some obnoxious people liked to say, “get a REAL job.”
Two more kids later, some tough economic realities intervened. My husband was spottily employed and we were paying for private school. I took on more. My efforts were no longer paying for Disney passes and designer purses. I was paying for food, and gas and tuition.
Fortunately for my family, I’m pretty good at what I do and I had an established freelance career in marketing and advertising to return to. I was able to take on contract marketing and writing assignments, and earn a respectable salary, without giving up flexibility. But like Rumplestiltskin says on Once Upon a Time , “All magic comes at a cost…”
Some of my (mostly ex) friends still don’t grasp the fact that I work full time from home. They think I’m selfish and aloof. That’s why I’m unavailable a lot of the time. Yes it stings, yes it’s tough, but I literally don’t have time to meet, have coffee and explain it to them. Some weeks, all I have time for is a brief Facebook chat.
There are a lot of challenges and biases unique to work at home parents, but the following inaccurate assumptions seem to affect moms in particular. I’m not saying men don’t deal with the same, but society is what it is. Our culture comes with a set of infuriatingly outdated ideas and expectations that get applied liberally by the most surprising people.
It’s been over ten years since I started working from home, yet I still face the following mis-perceptions, on a near daily basis.
Since You're at Home... The properties of time are altered
It makes sense that you should do the laundry, grocery shopping, meal planning and prep, kids party planning, school volunteering, room momming, team momming, room painting, costume sewing... Oh wait. You work? Well you know, in your free time. Because you are at home. Squeeze it in.
You can't dress yourself appropriately, ever
True story: I used to have a sitter who judged me for working at home. I was sure she was sure I was just looking at cat photos on the internet while wearing my PJs, while she cleaned my house and watched my baby. So I got all dressed up in heels and a suit and went to Starbucks to get some work done without her judgey glare. There I ran into a bunch of other moms I knew, out for coffee. They all had on workout gear. They wanted me to join them. I said I had to work. "Oh," they said "Aren't you FANCY!" which really meant that they thought I was being an anti-social bitch who didn't have time for her stay at home mom friends. Lose, lose. From then on I drove to the Starbucks two towns away.
You can aways do a little more work
Since you can't leave your office, you can't ever leave your work. If you work for others and don't keep regular hours, it is likely that you are expected to be always on or at least always reachable. Even when the power is out and your phone is dead and the kids (or you) have the flu. Always on.
Working at Home is a Career Killer or a Stepping Stone
Once certain people begrudgingly admit that what you are doing kind of qualifies as a real job, probably because you are earning "real" money, they will assume one of two scenarios: 1. You're trying to stay in the market in case you ever want to go back out and get a real job. But you probably won't because sadly you peaked back when you had a real job. 2. You've managed to create a stepping stone for yourself, you scrappy lil' lass. Hurray! Now you can get a REAL job.
Desperate Housewives WAHM edition
I get furious at how many people equate work at home motherhood with a brand of desperation, be it desperation for cash, for acknowledgement or attention. Working at Home is simply the best solution to putting food at the table and still spending time with kids, for many people. It's not a ploy for attention, a route to a real job or a cause for charity. It's insulting to downgrade someone's abilities because they get the job done at home. What matters is how they get the job done. Work at home moms are not desperate, they are frustrated that it's harder than they imagined it would be. They are also probably exhausted a lot of the time. If anything, they are desperate for a nap.
Oh look! There really is a Balance Fairy!
The only thing worse than all of the above assumptions/perceptions is the bill of goods that is sold, sometimes by working moms themselves, that balance is simply a matter of skill and planning. The myth of having it all at the same time really is a disservice to all working moms. I hear from people who follow me about how awesome it is that I seem to juggle it all and have it all and I offer the very real evidence to the contrary - the birthday party present I forgot to get, the teacher conference I missed, the friend's important event I cannot attend because I am working out of town that weekend and the fact that my older son has no shoes that fit. I'm tired all the time but I don't regret a thing. I've made the choices that are best for my family and me, and whatever you've chosen for you, I'll have to assume you chose with the same good intentions in your heart.
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